At-home date nights: 5 easy ways to connect
Want nothing more than to go on a date with your honey, but the sitter isn’t available, times are a little tight, or you’re just too tired after a long day at work to go out on the town? We have a few simple, creative at-home date night ideas up our sleeves to get your juices flowing, if you know what we mean!
A little note before we get started: If intimacy is on your mind for date night, you and your partner might consider the “F-First Rule.” Dan Savage originated the idea that having sex before a date night takes a lot of pressure off and significantly increases the likelihood that quality sex will happen.
Think of it this way: Do you feel sexier before or after eating takeout? If the answer is before, get in a steamy make-out session or even a “quicky” while you wait for the delivery to arrive!
Here are 5 easy ways to connect with at-home date nights:
1. Have a foodie feast
Enjoy cooking? Pick out a new dish to make together. Plan ahead and get grocery delivery earlier in the evening or make it a fun challenge and only use what you already have in the pantry and fridge. A little friendly competition can heat things up to see who makes the tastiest dish.
Love take-out? Try a new restaurant or go with a favorite you’ve been craving. To create the right vibe, grab some candles and cuddle up at the table or on the couch. Create a fun cocktail together or pop that bottle of wine you’ve saved for a special occasion!
2. Pamper each other with a spa night
Grab your face masks, lotions, and potions to help your bodies feel better than ever. Find little ways to touch each other and take turns rubbing the other’s back, neck, or feet with massage oil or lotion. If you want to take things a little further, end with a nice steamy shower or bubble bath and enjoy one another’s company.
3. Get competitive and game
Gaming can bring out your fun and competitive sides, whether you enjoy a little Mario Kart or a good old-fashioned board or card game. Sit close, playfully trash talk, high five, and give yourselves space to be silly! Laughing together reduces stress and helps create feel-good hormones like dopamine so you can have a sense of calm and well-being.
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4. Collaborate and create
Grab a new Lego set, or your kiddo’s bin of thousands of Legos and create something new! Put the names of various objects in a jar, pull one out, and create that object. Compare and contrast what you each came up with and complement each other’s creativity. Affirmations are powerful connecting points to fill your love banks!
If you’re feeling particularly creative, order an adult paint-by number in advance and set up a cozy space to paint together. You may find conversation flows more freely when your hands are busy. Creating helps keep our brains in the present moment, which naturally helps create space for deeper curiosity with one another.
5. Play your favorite music and get down
Take turns picking your favorite songs or create a fun playlist together. Be nostalgic and choose songs that remind you of relationship milestones or favorite times together. Get close and dance the night away!
DYK? Just 20 seconds of closeness (especially an embrace) can help your nervous systems relax and build loving kindness for one another. Add a six-second kiss and now you’re really cooking.
Remember, it’s ultimately not about what you do, but how you do it.
A big frustration for couples in the therapy room is one or both partners having their phones out, especially during date night. A friendly word of advice, part of being engaged includes putting your phone down. This type of intentionality gives space to feel seen, heard, and understood which is ultimately what time together is all about.
