Tips for starting a "sober-ish" lifestyle
It’s the new year, and it seems like from TikTok’s algorithm to targeted advertising, there is a constant flow of content promoting a “dry January,” “damp lifestyles,” or “sober-ish” way of being. Maybe it is the “New Year, New You” ideology. Maybe it is because low and nonalcoholic drinks will be on trend for 2024. Or, maybe it’s because the last article I wrote for theCityMoms in 2022 was about my own relationship with alcohol.
In the article, I wrote about a morning in 2018 when I considered how much and how often I was drinking and knew I needed to make some changes. Over the last five years, life has thrown some big highs and low lows (ahem… a pandemic, for one), and yet I have never fallen back to that place where it felt like my relationship with alcohol caused problems in my life and wellbeing.
If you are considering a refresh to your relationship with alcohol or are simply “sober curious,” here are the things that helped me make changes and stick with them:
1. Occupy your thirst in the evenings:
In the beginning, I was used to sipping on something in the evenings after bedtime while I read, watched TV, or caught up with my husband. In the first few weeks, I replaced the wine with tea. It gave me the comfort of something on my lips that was soothing and flavorful.
2. Make new habits:
For many people, drinking is part of a ritual: The airport cocktail, wine during girl’s night, or making a cocktail as you walk into the kitchen after work. Consider how that ritual would look without alcohol. Maybe it’s as simple as opening sparkling water or trying mocktail recipes until you get your signature blend.
For more on breaking and building habits, check out these tips from Forbes.
3. Reimagine yourself:
I am a food and wine girl, and for so long, I thought that meant I was always a food and wine girl. If I had chicken, I should have a white wine that pairs nicely with it. I can still do that, but I don’t have to always do that. For you, it may be rewriting the story of who you tell yourself that you are if alcohol has to be a supporting character.
4. Explore:
The world of “alcohol-free” options has exploded! A “virgin” drink used to be sugary and boring. Now, there is an entire market of nonalcoholic wine, beer, spritzes, and cocktails that are exciting, balanced, and tasty. Bartenders are also more in tune with the desire for low and no-alcohol options. Put in the right glass; you can still feel as though it’s the real deal.
SPEAKING OF SELF REFLECTION…
…therapist Kim O’Connell shares ways to treat that post-holiday (mental health) hangover here.
5. Surround yourself with the right people
Some people in your circle may not support that you are not joining them in a glass of wine during dinner or at book club. “Drinking = Fun” has been ingrained into so many of us. And, in motherhood, there is an idea that drinking is even “cute” or just survival. Be prepared for tough conversations and even reevaluating relationships with people in your life, not just alcohol.
6. Savor:
If you are trying not to drink during the week, but a friend invites you out for her birthday on a Tuesday, you get to use your best judgment. A good friend will not judge you for not drinking, but also, a good friend is worth celebrating.
A mantra I often play is, “Is this drink giving me something or taking something away?” Sometimes the occasion calls for (and you will want) a great drink. Enjoy it! And, in the moments you choose not to drink, enjoy those, too. Find that life really is delicious - cocktail or no cocktail. Cheers to that.
Writers Note: If you have found that it is difficult to control your relationship with alcohol or that you would like further resources to help support you as you reevaluate the impact it has on your life, a general practitioner doctor or the National Drug and Alcohol Hotline (1-800-662-4357) are great places to start.
