Things to do for friends receiving chemotherapy
Weknowyouknow October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but what you may not know is how to help when a loved one is facing a life-altering diagnosis. Yes, there are walks, ribbons, and donations - but what about the little things? The day-to-day moments where they need you most can make the biggest difference and we’ve got a few ideas to get you started.
Things you can do for your friends receiving chemotherapy for cancer:
1. Continue to include your friend in plans.
We began this month by polling our CityMoms community for feedback. Many respondents who’ve battled cancer or gone thru chemo said they want to still feel included with friends. Why? The normalcy helps their healing process (“I’m still me.” said respondent Alison).
What you can do: Schedule a regular weeknight gathering for coffee or dinner. Plan a weekly Facetime or Zoom call. Or designate a day of each week to someone in the support circle - Sarah gets Sundays, Emma has Mondays, and so on. With this, your friend always has someone checking in and keeping them surrounded.
Conversely, let your friend know it’s okay not to respond to these invitations or check-ins - your support is unconditional. Remember, the purpose is to create less stress, not more.
2. Offer to help with organization.
This new life change can be overwhelming and there are many tools out there to help, such as:
CaringBridge - a digital journal of someone’s medical journey
MealTrain - to organize meals
Facebook Groups - a simple way to include friends around the globe you might not have an email address for
What Friends Do - an all-inclusive platform that can be used to share photos, recent updates, arrange meals, a help registry, or even create a care calendar for things like pet duties, etc. BONUS: What Friends Do isn’t isolated to cancer - this can also for a new baby, moving, military service, etc.
3. Help with meals.
Nearly everyone who responded to our earlier survey mentioned meals, food prep, and finding time just to create or follow through with menus - especially when they had a family at home - was their #1 task they needed help with. Here are some easy ways to help with meals:
Prep an extra family meal every week. Making food for your fam? Double it.
Grab a prepared meal when out at the store to drop at their door. (Just remember to think ahead and bring a cooler, or place in a refrigerated bag to keep temperate until your friend is able to retrieve!)
Send a weekly meal. Nationally, services like DoorDash and Uber Eats offer great, convenient ways to send food. Locally, we love Send A Friend Lasagna, which prepares and delivers lasagnas to their door.
4. Offer to listen.
“I just wanted someone to hear me out while I grieved what was happening to me,”
said Alison.
Cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, and other big medical changes bring a lot of scary thoughts forward. Offer to be there for your friend while they process these feelings by listening and loving them without interruption.
What can you expect at an annual mammogram appointment? Follow along at ours:
5. Donate your unused PTO.
It’s no secret that battling cancer - or any major medical event - is difficult when you’re also juggling a full-time job. While the Family and Medical Leave Care Act allows employees to take up to 12 weeks unpaid for specified family and medical leave reasons, care can exceed both this and an employee’s available PTO. If you work with a friend experiencing a medical event, consider donating your unused PTO or vacation time. Some companies offer an emergency bank of days donated by others to help support co-workers in need.
