I’m taking charge of my Mother’s Day (and you should too)
If you’re the type of mama who enjoys whatever her family plans for Mother’s Day, I sincerely applaud you. But that’s not me. I’m very aware of the expectation that the kids, partner, or whomever EXCEPT the mama, should put the day together (because we put every other day together). And in the past, that’s what I’ve done, and then had to either offer faux praise or sulk through my day. If it’s truly meant to be a day of celebration, and not “mom once again yielding to the needs and feelings of everyone else,” then I’m doing it my way - and you should too!
This will be my fourth Mother’s Day since my kid’s birth. The first, I received a lot of shocked replies when I said I wanted to spend the day without my daughter. She was about 14 weeks old and I was stay-at-home-mom-tired (IYKYK). So the two subsequent M-Days, I stayed closer to the societal norm: Family brunch with a cranky baby and then wild toddler, questionable gifts, and frequent self-talk to remember “it’s the thought that counts.”
A few days ago, I started the annual reminders with my husband. Telling him the date (yes, seriously), to check for reservations now because they will book up, asking what his gift budget is so I can prepare my list, and on and on. Then I stopped as a radical thought entered my periphery, “why am I stressing out about this day for me?” I know exactly what I want this day to look like and though my husband will do his best, it won’t be that. So, if it’s going to bother me - and it will - why not just do it the way I want it done? Who says I can’t?
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I’m an editor and author - so I take words very seriously. “Mother’s Day” quite literally means a day OWNED by mothers. The apostrophe denotes ownership. So this year, I’m going to OWN it.
I chose a restaurant I’ve been dying to try and booked the time that worked for me. I told my husband I’ll be ready by that time, and he and the kid should be too - but I’m not helping. They can meet me in the car. I told him the budget and sent him the random wishlist from my Notes app. I made dinner plans with my mom and during the hours between, I’ll be at a bookshop, napping, or maybe solo-hiking in a local park. Because it’s my day, and that’s what I want to do.
