Mental Health Matters: The Truth About Mom Burnout
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and if there’s a conversation we need to have as moms, it's this: burnout isn’t just about being tired.
It’s about being emotionally exhausted, worn thin by the relentless, invisible pressures we carry every single day. It’s about snapping at your kids and feeling like a monster.
It’s about crying in the car because that’s the only place you feel safe enough to fall apart.
It’s about going numb just to get through the day.
And here's the truth: it doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human.
Keep reading for practical tips for battling mom burnout!
Mom Burnout Is Real…Let’s Talk Mental Health:
The Hidden Emotional Load Moms Carry
Motherhood today isn't just about keeping our kids fed and clothed. It's about being the emotional anchors for our families while also keeping track of soccer schedules, permission slips, doctor appointments, meal planning, managing the household, and, for many of us, building our careers.
We’re expected to do it all perfectly, smile while doing it, and feel guilty when we can't.
The psychological impact of these pressures is profound. Chronic stress floods our systems with cortisol, impairing memory, focus, and even immune function. Impaired immune function means less resistance to daycare cooties. (yikes!!)
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It wears down our resilience. When emotional burnout sets in, it doesn't just feel like "being tired." It feels like being hollow.
You often wake up more exhausted than when you went to sleep.
You feel irritable and resentful, even though you love your family fiercely.
You numb out with your phone, food, or "busy work."
You feel invisible, like no one sees how much you're carrying.
Over time, this state of emotional depletion can lead to anxiety, depression, and serious health consequences.
When "Doing It All" Broke Me: My Story
Several years ago, I found myself trying to balance growing my therapy practice with raising my two boys. I thought I was "managing" everything well because that's what we’re taught: keep all the plates spinning, and look grateful while you do it.
But underneath the surface, I was constantly anxious. Doubt and worry spiraled in my mind about what I hadn't done, who I was disappointing, and how I "should" be doing more. I would stay up late answering emails after bedtime routines, wake up feeling already behind, and tell myself, "Just.push.through."
Until I couldn't.
Until pushing through meant snapping at my kids over spilled juice or hiding in the bathroom just to cry. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I felt like a shell—just surviving, disconnected from joy, and living out a checklist of “to-dos.”
The turning point came when I realized this wasn't a "me" problem. It was a system problem—a culture that asks moms to carry an impossible weight without real support.
What Burnout Really Looks Like:
We often think burnout looks dramatic, but usually it’s subtle:
Short temper: Feeling quick to anger over small things.
Emotional numbness: Losing interest in things you used to enjoy.
Hypervigilance: Constantly feeling like you're "missing something."
Deep guilt: For resting, for asking for help, even for feeling bad.
Isolation: Feeling like no one else understands how hard it really is.
And behind all that? Often there's a voice whispering: You're not enough.
But that voice isn’t yours. It’s the voice of impossible societal expectations we’ve been absorbing for generations.
STRUGGLING WITH POSTPARTUM?
How to Begin Healing (Beyond Bubble Baths)
Self-care isn’t just spa days or girls’ nights (though those are great too!). True recovery from emotional burnout requires deprogramming the unrealistic standards we've been taught to internalize.
Here are practical steps that helped me—and that I now teach other moms:
1. Challenge the "Shoulds"
Start noticing how often you tell yourself, "I should..."
I should be more patient.
I should have a cleaner house.
I should enjoy every moment.
Every "should" is a clue pointing to an external standard you’ve internalized. Start replacing "should" with "I choose to" or "I want to." Because freedom begins with giving yourself permission.
2. Redefine "Good Enough"
Perfectionism is a fast track to burnout. Decide what "good enough" looks like for you, not what Pinterest, Instagram, or your inner critic says. This was a game-changer for me, personally. By prioritizing my time, money, and energy, I could redefine what mattered most…
A healthy dinner might be boxed mac and cheese some nights.
A successful bedtime might mean no one cried, even if teeth weren't brushed perfectly.
You’re allowed to lower the bar to a human level.
3. Create a "Done" List
Every night, instead of obsessing over what’s left undone, write down what you did do.
Comforted a crying child.
Answered three work emails.
Made sure everyone ate something.
Remember, your worth is not measured by your productivity.
4. Ask for Help—Before You’re Desperate
We’re conditioned to think asking for help is a weakness. It's not.
Delegate grocery shopping.
Share kid pickup with another parent.
Hire a babysitter or cleaner if possible.
Small supports allow for making big changes.
5. Reconnect to Joy
When you're burned out, "joy" feels too big.
Start small:
Listen to a song you love.
Step outside for 5 minutes of fresh air.
Text a friend a funny meme.
Tiny moments of joy help your nervous system to heal.
You Are Not Broken
If you're snapping, feeling numb, or crying in secret, you are not failing. You are responding to pressures that no one should have to shoulder alone.
Motherhood was never meant to be a solo sport. It was never meant to cost you your identity, your health, or your wholeness.
Recognizing your burnout is not a sign of weakness; it's an act of wisdom. It’s the first step toward reclaiming your life, your joy, and your mental health.
You are enough. You are doing enough. And you deserve the same compassion you give to everyone else.
If this resonated with you, join theCityMoms for more real, honest conversations, practical support, and a community that truly gets it.
