The joy of missing out is totally a cool thing.
Is there such a thing as the joy of missing out? CityMom Morgan explores this phenomenon and we're totally here for it.
The holiday season can be overwhelming and it seems like each year, it comes earlier and earlier. Yes, Thanksgiving does fall late on the calendar this year. But does that really mean that all of the events of the season need to start earlier, too? To fit in all in, I supposed they do. It also just seems we are living in a world in which people are so hungry for the lights and joys of the holiday season, that we can hardly get the jack o'lanterns put away before we're draping our autumn colored trees with colorful Christmas lights.
I can't say I am not somewhat complicit in this--my husband and I were heading to Newfields for the opening night of Winterlights a full month earlier than we typically do discussing this very thing. As we passed Sullivan’s Hardware on our drive, I noted that I had heard just the week before (two full weeks before Thanksgiving) that their Santa Express train ride had sold out the DAY that tickets were released. You could start in July trying to coordinate your holiday calendar of events and things around our fair city and never be able to fit it all in. From the German Christmas market in Carmel, to the newly added light display at the State Fairgrounds, over the course of 6 weeks you can have breakfast with the Grinch, breakfast with Santa (in a few different places), slide the chocolate slide at Jolly Days, drive through lights at the Speedway, marvel at trains at the Eiteljorg and the Garfield Park Conservatory, and go back in time and have a very Merry Prairie Holiday. Oh, and did I mention that Frozen II just came out?
So how do we take all this in without completely overwhelming ourselves?
How do we look at this calendar of events and consider what's best for us, for our families, for our children, for ourselves? It's all so magical. It's all so beautiful. It's so wonderfully planned and executed. In the age of social media it's hard not to see what "everyone else is doing" and just at the moment you decide that perhaps you'll do just one light display this year, well, another comes along your news feed and it seems like you can't very well miss that. It's not just the overwhelm that comes with a calendar full of events. There's also the traditions you've started or want to start around cozy nights at home--unwrapping brand new pajamas and a holiday-themed book, enjoying hot cocoa by the fire, making batches of cookies or delicious soups for various party "swaps." Perhaps your family gives a little extra time through volunteering our donating during this season. Or maybe this is the time your family from across the country comes together to mark another year of growing, and doing, and seeking, and living. And trying to fit those traditions in and among all the newly created events that continue to grace the internet can just make the holidays feel like a race against time to have the most magical season of all.
SPEAKING OF HOLIDAY FUN, we're spilling our favorite list of local holiday light displays. What did we miss?
That's a lot of pressure, momma. I feel it, and I know you do, too. Perhaps you've figured it out. Perhaps long ago you set boundaries that encircled what would and would not be each holiday season, and you've stuck to those. Perhaps you're perfectly content with JOMO. I'm getting there. Slowly, with each new year, getting there.
I wanted to create a list of ways to encourage each of us to counter the overwhelm.
To control the chaos that swirls. Perhaps you don't get too caught up in it, but I suspect that even if you don't some of what's below might appeal to you. So here goes. And please, know that this list is certainly not exhaustive. You probably have some wonderful tidbits of your own to share--and I'd love for you to share them! Either adding comments to this post or sharing on your own social media handles. We can all use some extra tools for being as present as possible this holiday season.
Start a book, a daily meditation, or ritual that can help you center yourself this season. I am going to be starting Jen Hatmaker's 7 Days of Christmas on December 1st as a reminder to live generously this season. There are several apps for guiding you through meditation. Sometimes these apps will offer discount codes on Black Friday or Cyber Monday--so be on the lookout for those.
Sit down with your people, a calendar, and some hot chocolate {or beverage of choice} for an evening of planning out which events, traditions, gatherings, parties you will be committing to this year...with the understanding that you cannot say yes to all of them. Make sure you don't fill the calendar up so much that you haven't left time to just be, to just revel, to just reflect, to just enjoy the moment.
Set a date night with your spouse or partner to go over the kiddos' holiday wish lists and determine what you want to get them. My husband and I started doing this a bit by happenstance, but it's become tradition. It allows us to collectively make the decisions together so that we are both clear on what is being purchased and who's in charge of making sure it happens.
Keep that appointment with your therapist. The holidays get busy. It's easy to start cancelling appointments for our own health in order to accomodate the busyness of the season. Don't cancel. Go.
Advocate for yourself. When it gets to be too much, just admit it; say no to that additional thing. Recognize when you just need a night to stay in. Be okay with that.
For each of us, the threshold for overwhelm is different. For me, a month of full weekends nearly breaks me. For others, they can't imagine life any other way. The message here is simply this: even when it seems like we can do it all, we don't have to. We don't have to go out of our way to celebrate the holidays the way "everyone else does." We are here to live into the traditions and celebrations and rituals that make meaning for ourselves, our families, our friends, our people. When our hearts and our minds start feeling pinched and pulled and twisted to bend towards the pressures of the world around us, it's time to take a deep breath, step back, create some space, and choose what makes the most meaning for us. Cheers to you this holiday season, momma. Take care of you. Take care of your people. Celebrate well!
