Moms with Pride: Work hard and be nice with Shelly Snider
Editor Note: In honor of Pride, theCityMoms will feature the incredible moms (and orgs they rep) who work tirelessly to advocate for and support LGBTQ+ people. In this series, we hope you get to know them and make the most of their suggestions to be a better ally not just in June, but throughout the year.
Meet Shelly Snider: mom and Executive Director of Indy Pride.
Her passion for supporting and being present with the LGBTQ+ community is evident in everything she does. From parenting and promoting Pride events to telling everyone that gay people go to the movies and get old too (more on that later), after chatting with her, we’re big fans. You will be too once you read about how this Indy-native inspires change through kindness and advocacy.
Shelly Snider, Executive Director of Indy Pride
You started with Indy Pride as Executive Director in January this year - congrats! - what led you there?
Prior to this job, all my work has been in the world of human resources and career counseling. But I was involved with the LGBTQ+ volunteer sector in Indianapolis and with Indy Pride for about 15 years previously. I helped start the Pride of Indy bands and served on a couple of national boards for LGBTQ+ issues. In 2018 I decided to go back to school to obtain my master’s degree in Nonprofit Management, which I completed in May. I was not planning to find a new position until I finished my degree, but when this job opened last fall, I went for it!
Whew, you’ve been busy! How do you balance school, work, and family life?
The pandemic has been hard. In addition to my full-time job, I was helping around the house, tackling e-learning, and taking 1-2 classes per semester. I don’t consider myself a teacher, so it was hard sometimes keeping my patience in check. My son is strong-willed; he will be a strong leader someday! My wife has a degree in music education, so she has a little more patience. I am glad that it’s over!
We can def relate to the perils of pandemic parenting! Has being a mama changed your work style?
Yes, a couple of ways. First, a mentor once told me “Don’t treat people any differently than you would if your child was watching.” In other words, if you’re trying to be a role model for your children, consider how you would treat the people you’re interacting with. I try to always be empathetic, kind, and seek first to understand. Second, when a lot of people think of gay people, they think of white, gay men. They may not think about us having children, going to the movies, or retiring. There is such a thing as older gay people! We need to take care of all the different communities within the LGBTQ+ population.
Looking for other orgs that support the LGBTQ+ community? Shelly suggests checking out IYG and Trinity Haven.
We have so much respect for all your experience working with nonprofits through the years. What first led you to volunteer with Indy Pride?
It was 2004; I will never forget it. We went to the Indy Pride parade and to be honest it was kind of sad! It was raining and there were few people there. I said, “This parade needs a band!” My friends and I were in the music department at Indiana State University so we pulled out a napkin and wrote down a roster of people who could march with us at future parades. I reached out to the president of the board and offered to volunteer. We were tasked with building a band, which is now the Pride of Indy band. Since, I’ve helped manage the fall career fair and volunteered with various events, including our annual music night. (Shelly plays the flute and bass drum!)
What do you wish more people understood about the LGBTQ+ community?
The pandemic really made people realize isolation is never a good thing. In addition, there are groups of LGBTQ+ people who come out to their families and face rejection. A lot of the queer community finds what I call “Framily:” friends that become family because their biological families may have disowned them. A large portion of the homeless population is LGBTQ+ youth because they’ve been kicked out of the house. I just want to make sure people know they are not alone.
This year’s Pride Festival will be such a celebration because we haven’t had an in-person event in two years. It is so important for the LGBTQ+ community to come together again in spaces where we can be our authentic selves.
Shelly dreams of opening a community center for LGBTQ+ people to connect. Want to help?
How can we support the spirit of Pride in June and throughout the year?
Come to the Pride Festival. Volunteer for the Pride Parade and Festival. A lot of the burden of those events is on LGBTQ+ people. We would love for the festival to be managed by allies someday. We need volunteers in May and June but also throughout the year. And we are always accepting donations!
I would also encourage them to be supportive of LGBTQ+ people in their lives. It’s amazing what kids will pick up. Recently we had an incident where my child was playing with some friends online and another child got mad during the game and said, “Well at least I have a dad.” That is heartbreaking, but they learn it somewhere. Even when it’s just you at home with your child, ensure you are not making remarks or indicating that being LGBTQ+ is anything other than normal. Be willing to accept others for who they are and embrace our differences.
Fitting with her overall vibe, Shelly has a sign behind her desk that says “Work hard. Be nice.” It is evident from her dedication to Indy Pride and advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community that she embodies that ethic. As the only full-time employee (really!), Indy Pride relies on 300 volunteers to get all 22 events executed throughout May and June. Talk about multitasking!
