5 Things military moms want you to know
I never thought I’d end up married to someone in the military, much less a career, active-duty serviceman. But, that’s exactly what happened. My husband is going on his 18th year in the military and has no plans to retire soon. Simply put, the military is his life…which means it's mine too. And, by proxy, our three kids.
Being a mom while also being a military spouse is far from easy. Parenting in general is challenging (and all the mamas said Amen!), but when you throw the military lifestyle in the mix, it too often feels like hiking Everest.
Here are 5 things military moms want you to know:
1. We won’t ask for it, but we need help.
Military moms wear many hats, including (at times) fulfilling the role of the other parent while they are deployed or away on orders. To say it can get overwhelming is an understatement.
Military life isn’t for the faint of heart, and since “the needs of the service” always have to come first, you learn to put your own needs on the back burner. You also learn to “suck it up, buttercup” and just do what needs to be done (#survival).
It’s made us a tough, independent bunch, but admittedly, it would be nice to have some help now and then.
Whether it's helping out with childcare, running errands, or just lending an empathetic ear, we appreciate all the help we can get.
We may be used to doing most things on our own, but it’s nice to know we don’t have to.
2. We want to be your friend.
Three letters: PCS. For most people, those letters hold little meaning. For us military moms, PCS (permanent change of station) means BIG changes. Due to promotions, special assignments, deployments, and completed tours, military families move around. A lot. In fact, my family is getting ready to PCS this summer, and it will be our third move in four years.
Moving so much means that our lives are always in flux. There is no constant for us other than change itself, and I’ll be honest: we get lonely.
It’s not easy moving from place to place and continually having to start over. There have been so many times when I was in a new town and desperate for someone to talk to or share a cup of coffee with.
I sometimes struggle with putting myself out there–especially when another move is always on the horizon. But transient as we are, military moms thrive on community. We want, no…need…people in our lives. So, if you can, ask us to meet for coffee. It would mean the world!
3. We are resilient.
I can honestly say I wouldn’t be who I am today if I weren’t a military spouse. I’ve learned so much about myself and how to navigate this life. There have been highs and lows, but I’ve learned how to be flexible and adaptive and how to teach my children these same traits.
When you’re a military mama, you have to find a way to keep going, even when things seem insurmountable. Our kiddos rely on us to be their normal in a world that shifts frequently. So we’ve learned to face whatever challenges come our way with a fighting spirit. Our spouses are the ones who serve, but we’re the at-home support. And it’s not a job we take lightly.
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4. We appreciate the little things.
Deployments, separations, and living away from our families and friends can be hard on us and our kiddos, but because of these things, we’ve learned the importance of celebrating the little things.
When the kids make a new friend or we find a cool pizza joint in our new town, it feels like Christmas morning. When we get an unexpected card from a friend or someone takes the time to text us and tell us we’re doing a good job, it makes our whole day.
And that trickles down to our kids too. We chase joy wherever and however we can.
5. We're grateful for your support:
Every time someone thanks my spouse for his service or me for my support, it brings tears to my eyes. It’s something I never get tired of hearing. Knowing that others see and recognize the sacrifices our entire family makes in service to this country means more than you know.
Not everyone can do what we do. That recognition helps make all the tough stuff a little easier. My husband is proud to serve, and I am equally honored to stand behind him, along with our children.
From the simple act of saying "thank you" to understanding the unique challenges we face, your kindness and understanding make a world of difference.
So, I think I speak for all military mamas when I say, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for standing by us and supporting our journey.
As a military mom, I know the importance of community. One place I’ve found it is here at TheCityMoms. If you’re looking for support, we’d love to have you join us!
