It's been 365 days since I last had fun
It’s been exactly 1 year since I had fun.
Sounds dramatic right? Let me explain:
Sure I’ve had some moments of fun in the past year, but I’m talking about pure unbridled fun. It’s been 365 days since I’ve had to think about getting sick from being out in public. 365 days since so many of my friends started losing their parents to an uncontrolled, unbiased virus. 365 days since I was able to care about just myself for one night while I laughed with my friends.
I had my baby in the summer of 2018 and joined theCityMoms a few months later. I had no idea what I was doing as a mom and needed some support, and boy did I find it with theCityMoms. Although I enjoy a good time, it takes me a moment to really make good friends that I can trust, and coming off the end of a hard pregnancy and even more difficult delivery made it harder. I was worried nobody would get me. But I found so many who did. We bonded over our crazy delivery stories, exploding baby diapers and sleepless nights. I suffered pretty severely with postpartum depression my first year after delivery. Finally towards the end of 2019 I had found a good flow to motherhood, being a working parent and being more present with my own needs. I began to go to dinners, laugh again, go to plays and concerts.
Then it all came to a screeching halt at the beginning of March 2020.
The last weekend of February 2020 is the last really amazing time I had with friends where I forgot about the world around me for a few hours. I had a couple of drinks, got dressed up, and was honestly able to be the old Kira that my husband knew and loved. The Kira that most people prior to becoming a mom would have known me as. I’ll honestly never forget that weekend. I was newly appointed in a role to help plan our activities for theCityMoms and was invited along with 3 other CityMoms to attend Museum by Moonlight at The Children’s Museum. I had never been to the event before, and I’ve gotta say – when it comes back, I’ll be there! We rode the carousel with drinks in hand, scarfed down all the cupcakes we could get our hands on, sampled yummy food on each level of the museum, and silently raved the night away in the dinosphere. Seriously, have you ever been to a silent rave? It was so much fun! After safely getting home that evening, I went to bed and woke up for another adventure the next morning with my CityMoms friends.
This is where I get to talk about the Drag Brunch at Baby’s! So. Much. Fun! (And yes, I realize I’m using way too many exclamation marks in this post – but they are warranted, so let me have my fun). I attended with several other CityMoms. It was so special to me because I had not been to Baby’s since it became “Baby’s.” I had my bachelorette party at Talbot Street because I love a good drag show. This did not disappoint. The food, the boozy milkshakes, the performers doing splits and contouring their makeup better than I could ever dream. I left that weekend and went to work on Monday in absolute friendship overload. I had a couple stressful days at work and then reality came crashing down not only around me, but the entire world.
I work for a hospital and I had no idea what was coming. Let me preface by saying I’m not a nurse and no longer do direct patient care – I now work in research. Even our research team was baffled by the information we were seeing. Anyone who was not absolutely necessary to direct patient care needed to leave and not come back. They needed everyone safe because nobody knew how sideways things would go.
And then the bottom really dropped out.
I spent the following months with absolutely no work boundaries, no parenting boundaries, no familial support (because we couldn’t see anyone!). I was trying to find a new babysitter because in the middle of this pandemic starting our sitter was transitioning back into the workforce. It is extremely hard to find a new sitter when there is a global pandemic. Daycares were shut down and honestly I didn’t feel comfortable even using one at that point. I just did the best I could for many many months. My husband was working outside the home, so I was worried for his safety. I was also worried that I was going to die. I know a lot of people will advise you not to live in fear, but I was definitely living in fear.
MORE MOMMA READING:Do the boudoir photos. No seriously, do them.
Throughout the past year my husband, daughter and myself have tried to find small ways to have fun.
She was 1.5 when the pandemic started and is now 2.5. She has been isolated for a year of her tiny toddler life. Just like many other of my friends with littles, she didn’t get to play with or make any friends. We’ve never been able to have playdates (because I am a fulltime working mom), she missed a lot of time with grandparents, and honestly there are family members she has still never met. I think everyone assumed when she was an infant that there was always going to be more time to meet her. And there just hasn’t been. I’m eternally grateful that we didn’t lose any of our immediate family members, and I know that passionate fun will happen again. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I think about on this last weekend in February with my CityMom friends and want to cry because I miss it.
I wrote this because I assume if I felt this way, others did to. Maybe others are romanticizing about their last hoorah before the lockdown began. Last St. Patrick’s Day I was supposed to be at a concert that never happened and was never able to be rescheduled. I love live music and miss its presence in my life.
I mourn the days of just sitting in a local restaurant with several friends, having a good meal that I didn’t have to prepare and was able to eat at the appropriate temperature, sipping on a drink that’s still cold with no melted ice.
I don’t know when these days will be back for us, for any of us. But I’m waiting impatiently for when they do. Do you remember the last ounce of freedom and fun you had prior to the pandemic? Where you didn’t know what it was like to wear a mask just to browse the dollar bin at Target? A time where you didn’t have to worry if you could find toilet paper? I know we all have them, and I encourage you to reminisce on yours. Keep going momma. We’ll have fun again.
Cheers,
Kira
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kira Thomas is the Indianapolis Director for theCityMoms. She lives in Westfield with her precious 2 ½ year old, dad-joking husband, and 2 dogs. Kira works full-time in brain injury research and in her free-time during the pandemic enjoys biking on nice days, watching the latest binge worthy shows, and making TikTok videos. She is a proud side part, skinny jean wearing mom. ☺
