As a {mostly} #boymom I have struggled daily with certain questions and parenting choices involving my boys. In a world where I know they have to grow up to be better than their predecessors – but also be able to match the expectations of those older than them – how I am supposed to prepare them for “the real world?”

Should I teach them to be strong and pensive, so they don’t get made fun of on the playground and fit in with the board rooms I see at so many companies? Do I teach them that all emotions are good and to never be afraid to express them, even if that might come with consequences?

okay to cry mom - theCityMoms

These very real questions came to a head the other night when I was getting my family ready to visit Lights at the Brickyard – one of our favorite holiday traditions. I told my three older children to go get in to the car while I finished gathering everything from the house. While I was finishing in the kitchen, my youngest son {3} decided to run out the front door of our house. I immediately dropped everything and ran faster than I ever knew I could. I did catch him but not until he had already reached the street in front of our house in pitch black night.

I grabbed him and squeezed him tighter than I ever have before – and started to sob uncontrollably. Seeing my very raw and open emotions – I’m the kind of mom who prefers to do her crying in the closet with a glass of wine! – scared my son and caused him to cry as well. After a moment or two, my husband took my son from my arms to help us both calm down. We finally got packed up and headed to our intended event.

WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, THIS IS A WONDERFUL READ TOO: I couldn’t breastfeed. It’s okay. :: One mom’s journey

I have been thinking about that night constantly since it happened and I think it truly helped me answer the questions I struggle with when raising my boys. I will teach them to be strong – because there will be a time when someone in your life needs them to be the calm while they cry on the driveway. I will teach them to be pensive – because not every thought needs to be shared right as you have them. I will teach them empathy – they need to understand the emotions of those around them and maybe even help others find good ways to express those emotions. I will teach them to be better but I will teach them to be accepting of all those that have come before them that were better than their predecessors.


Liz Duvall - theCityMoms


Liz Duvall is an Indianapolis native who loves outdoor concerts, craft beer, and food trucks. Liz grew up in the Glendale neighborhood but currently resides near Ben Davis with her 4 kids, husband, and dog Harley. She also serves as theCityMoms Director of Partnerships, finding fun+creative ways for our organization to connect even more into the greater Indianapolis community… And yes, her smile is just as bright in person as pictured.