Less is more people say.  

I disagree: Busy is better.  

I get bored if I’m not running around like a crazy person – driving kids to and fro, volunteering for Girl Scouts, working on multiple projects, etc… I just get bored.

With that being said, bored is my current state.  

Background: Last fall, we shut down our business, Maeve Vintage. It was my secret love affair. It made me feel smart, savvy, creative, empowered, admired… It made me feel amazing!  Even when it wore me out, it was something that made me feel like an awesome me. We rented boutique furniture and created sets for photographers, books, magazine shoots, weddings, and more. And honestly, we were kind of good at it.

Closed business what now - theCityMoms

Then we unexpectedly lost our warehouse space and didn’t have the money to find something new in the short amount of time we were given.  There were cons to our business: It was in a city other than where I lived. We were in an old building with a shady landlord. And while we were debt free, we invested every penny back into the business and inventory. In other words, when you are given 30 days to move out, you don’t have the resources to drop on moving furniture from one warehouse to a new one even if you could find a new one.

So… We decided to it was time to walk away.

Running your own business is exhausting.

It’s 24/7, 7 days a week. The emails, the invoices, the inventory, the events… It’s non-stop.

And things had changed since we first started with Maeve which included new jobs, new children, and new schedules. This all wore on our decision to give up the business. In the end, we kept a few items, but sold almost all of our inventory {including over 500 pieces}. And we were done! Just like that. Doors closed. No more to do.

Closed business what now - theCityMoms

Now I had EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND to sit at my house…

To hang with my kids…

To do nothing if I wanted…

And that was great for a little while.  

Then the boredom and the unsatisfied feelings took over.

What do you do with yourself when for the past three years you drove two hours north nearly every weekend, built a business you put your heart and soul into, and now it’s just gone?

I tried to fill my time by doing the things I hadn’t been able to do for the last three years like reading, cleaning, decluttering, activities with the kids, blogging. That kept me occupied for a bit. But here I am, a full year later and I still miss it madly. Again, it made me feel like a great version of myself and without it, I feel less than.  I was really good at that job and better at being me when I had it. These days I feel bored and boring. Am I boring?!

WE’RE THINKING A LOT ABOUT THIS TODAY: Am I supposed to like my mom body?

I will say, I’ve found that having more quality time to spend with my kids has been fun. It was nice to have the summer to do whatever we wanted without rushing off to a job. We got to play outside, inside, go to museums, take small trips, do anything on a whim because there wasn’t really anything tying me down.

But I’m still trying to find the new normal. I want to be creative again. I feel like at my core, I am a creative… but it gets pushed down so far with work, kids and life. Do you feel this way?

It’s weird when you lose something you worked so hard for and only paid you in satisfaction and pride. Others have a hard time seeing why it would be so hard to walk away from something that didn’t pay you. But it wasn’t about the pay… It was about the fact that it was an outlet that allowed me to do all the things I loved. So until I find my next something that allows me that creative outlet, I’m just trying to enjoy the extra time I have and slowly fill it in with things that help make me feel like me again. 



Abigail Kellermeyer - theCityMomsAbigail Hake Kellermeyer is a former professional figure skater who works full time as a Program Specialist for Customs Border Protection. In her spare time you can find her blogging about her most recently attended CityMoms event, fun DIY how-tos and more at her own site, Little Miss Martha.

Abby lives in Noblesville with her hockey guru husband Mike and their two spitfire daughters Ella and Olive. Abby is a regular contributor to theCityMoms blog.